Doubts
by Kitten With A Tie
Summary: After a accident after a battle, Splashpaw is left scarred permanently. Worse then that, all of her friends and family act as if she is a totally different cat. But one cat sees past her scars, and sees the regular cat she was. On hold
1. Chapter 1: Prologue and Allegiance

_RiverClan_

**Leader**

**Redstar- **brown tom with blue eyes

**Deputy**

**Lightclaw-** light grey tom with amber eyes

**Medicine Cat**

**Featherfur- **grey she-cat with white paws and blue eyes

**Apprentice, **Goldpaw

**Warriors**

**Tinystep- **white she-cat with green eyes

**Whitefur- **light grey tom

**Silvermint- **grey she-cat with darker paws and dark green eyes

**Frogstone- **dark grey tom with amber eyes

**Cloudeyes- **fluffy white tom cat

**Apprentice, **Splashpaw

**Creamears- **cream colored she-cat with bright blue eyes

**Amberpebble- **brown tom with amber eyes

**Darktail- **black tom

**Apprentice, **Brownpaw

**Leafclaws- **tabby brown she-cat with light grey chest and sparkling grey eyes

**Apprentice, Pebblepaw**

**Apprentices**

**Goldpaw- **golden tom with green eyes

**Splashpaw- **light grey she-cat with blue eyes

**Brownpaw- **brown tom

**Pebblepaw- **dark grey she-cat

**Queens**

**Dappleheart- **dark grey she-cat with dark blue eyes and fluffy tail

**Elders**

**Crookedtooth- **old brown tom with torn pelt and crooked teeth

**Larksong- **she-cat with a faded grey pelt

_xxx_

Splashkit curled up against her mother's belly, enjoying the warmth of her mother and her littermates. Suddenly, she shot to her paws.

She was _six moons _old, for StarClan's sake! A proper RiverClan cat would be fishing in the river, hunting for her Clan!

Splashkit trotted to the entrance, but she felt a soft paw grab her tail. Eyes wide, she turned her head to see Dappleheart looking at her, dark blue eyes narrowed. "Where do you think you're going?" she murmured.

Splashkit flattened her ears and searched the nursery floor for a answer. "Um... I wanted to go fishing!"

Dappleheart purred and flicked her tail toward the empty spot beside Brownkit. "Come, my little warrior. Let me tell you a story."

Splashkit listened, ears pricked as Dappleheart told her a story about when she was only a apprentice.

"Storm clouds rolled ahead," Dappleheart meowed. "The rain fell from the ground, pounding me like dozens of rock hard paws."

Brownkit and Pebblekit had sat up too, their eyes round and wide as Dappleheart continued.

"But I kept fishing. Fending for my Clan was more important. I kept fishing, hooking my claws into the river, and scooping up."

She demonstrated by unsheathed her claws and tossing a stray piece of reed into the air. Brownkit had tried it on Pebblekit's tail, and the she-kit had growled at him.

"I had hooked up a trout bigger then my tail-" she touched her nose to her long, fluffy tail- "and then I caught it as it slipped through the air, right into my jaws." Splashkit widened her eyes.

Her mother was so good at fishing! Dappleheart had been popular as a apprentice, and every tom was drooling over her. Splashkit purred as she remembered when Dappleheart told her how she chose their father.

Lightclaw had been the apprentice who hadn't been padding after Dappleheart, and Splashkit guessed that Dappleheart had liked him about that.

"Now, my little kits. It's time for you to sleep; you'll need all your energy for your ceremony," said Dappleheart. The three kits curled up against their mother's belly, and she curled her tail around them.

_xxx_

"Splashkit, you have reached the age of six moons, and it is time for you to be apprenticed. From this day on, until you receive your warrior name, you will be known as Splashpaw. Your mentor will be Cloudeyes. I hope Cloudeyes will pass down all he knows on to you."

Redstar mewed, touching his nose to Splashpaw's forehead.

Splashpaw was trembling with excitemement. Cloudeyes stood beside her, smiling proudly, his chin high. Redstar cleared his throat as he turned to the fluffy tom.

"Cloudeyes, you are ready to take on an apprentice. You had received excellent training from Crookedtooth, and you have shown yourself to be loyal and strong. You will be the mentor of Splashpaw, and I expect you to pass on all you know to Splashpaw."

He touched his nose to Cloudeyes' shoulder, and the tom licked Redstar's cheek. Dappleheart was standing beside Pebblepaw and Brownpaw, who were yowling Splashpaw's name.

Splashpaw lifted her chin, tail lashing with excitement. "I'll be the best apprentice ever," she vowed to Cloudeyes. Her mentor smiled.

"Of course you will." But more then she know, she would regret even stepping foot out into the forest.

_xxx_

Splashpaw trotted behind Cloudeyes. He was taking her down to the river to learn how to fish. "Now, stand right here. Don't let your shadow cast on the water!" he added as Splashpaw began to sit down.

"If you look hard enough, you will see the shadow of the fish. Now, you have to aim for where the fish _will _be, not where it is."

Splashpaw nodded and waited. It seemed like moons, but she saw the flickering shadow of a fish.

Without warning, her paw lashed out, and the fish flipped through the air. It landed on the ground, flipping and flopping.

She stared at it, not sure what to do. "Kill it!" Cloudeyes said urgently. Splashpaw obeyed, and gave a killing bite to the fish.

It was tiny and silver, with sparkling scales. She mentally regretted killing it... It was so beautiful. So much to give to the world. Let she had killed it.

"Why do we have to kill fish?" she blurted. Cloudeyes blinked. "Well, there's no other food for us to eat," he explained. "Unless the river freezes over. Then we have to hunt birds and squirrels and anything else we can find."

Splashpaw nodded, and decided that fish were food. Food needed to be eaten. Beauty didn't matter, as long as it filled bellies.

Splaspaw pricked her ears as she saw a shape swimming through the water, and Silvermint crawled onto bank. She was covered with clawmarks, with a deep bite on her ear. "Quick!" she gasped. "ThunderClan has tried to claim Sunningrocks again."

Cloudeyes bristled. "Those fleabags!" he spat. "Sunningrocks has always belonged to RiverClan." He flicked his tail. "Head back to camp and get help, Silvermint. Me and Splashpaw will head to Sunningrocks."

Splashpaw silently wondered why Cloudeyes sent the injured she-cat, alone, back to camp. But she followed her mentor anyway.

_x x x_

Splashpaw was locked in battle with a black ThunderClan tom, who had his teeth clamped on her shoulder. He was much bigger then her, with giant paws and sharp claws that dug into her pelt.

Splashpaw kicked him furiously in the belly, and he grunted and fell backwards. She pounced on him and raked her claws down his belly, and he got up and ran away, yowling.

The breath was driven from her body as she felt something shove her. She slid down the rocks, her paws scraping desperatly at the smooth rocks. "RiverClan should stick to hiding in the river," a voice sneered.

Splashpaw hit the river. In shock, she let the current drag her away. More breath was driven from her body as a rock scraped over her left eye.

She shrieked in pain as blood flowed down her face and into her mouth. Eventually, the pain was so much that she let a wave of black flow over her, and let the river drag her away.


	2. Chapter 2: Ceremony

_xxx_

Splashpaw awoke to the sharp scent of herbs. Her left eye ached, and her body felt as if a cat had been pelting her with rocks. Her limbs felt tired, and as if a cat had pulled her legs and tail.

"Splashpaw, you're awake!" a familiar voice rang in her ears. Splashpaw opened her right eye to see the blurry shape of Featherfur. "Your left eye is pretty banged up; you probably won't be able to see out of it for a while." Splashpaw let out a low moan.

"But don't worry; Redstar has a ceremony for you!" Featherfur added. Splashpaw said nothing. She just pulled herself onto her haunches and began to groom herself. She felt eyes on her, and looked up curiously to see that Featherfur had been staring at her. Featherfur quickly looked away, then she called to her apprentice.

Goldpaw trotted over, his mouth full of herbs. He set them beside Featherfur's paws. "Hi, Splashpaw," he said, nodding a greeting. Splashpaw muttered a greeting. "Let all cats old enough to swim gather to hear my words!" Redstar yowled.

"Well, it's time for your ceremony," Featherfur said, pricking her ear to Redstar's call. Splashpaw got to her feet and walked after the medicine cat. Goldpaw bumped her, smiling. "Splashpaw, no matter what you look like," he said, "you'll always be a great warrior!"

Splashpaw cocked her head. "What do you mean?" Instead of replying, he bit his lip and scurried after his mentor. The light grey cat skidded to a stop and stared at her reflection in a puddle.

Her left eye had a giant scratch over it. The eye was swollen, and when she opened it painfully, the pupil had largened, and it was bloodshot. The scratch ran all the way to the bottom of her lip, which was also swollen, and ached. She quickly closed her eye. She was no longer the young, bouncy, regular apprentice. She was a ugly, scarred cat that everybody would cringe at whenever she walked by.

As she continued to walk, cats stared at her, their eyes narrowed. Splashpaw did her best to ignore them, but one stare felt different. She turned her head to see her mother staring at her, dark blue eyes wide with horror. Brownpaw and Pebblepaw bounded over, their eyes wide with excitement.

"Wow!" Brownpaw said, his tail lashing back and forth. "Why do _you _get the cool scar?" Pebblepaw added. Splashpaw smiled. At least her littermates still liked her. "All the great warriors have awesome scars," Pebblepaw said. "You'll be a great warrior then!" Splashpaw grinned. "We'll all be great warriors," she told them.

"Of course you will." Splashpaw turned around to see Lightclaw standing there, his eyes soft, a smile on his mouth. He nudged all three of his kits, purring.

"How can he still love Splashpaw?" a voice muttered. "Yeah, she's uglier then a bird with no feathers!" Splashpaw swung her head around, trying to locate the sneering voices. She narrowed her eye as she saw Darktail and Frogstone, the two newest warriors, looking at her.

She opened her mouth to say something, but Lightclaw beat her to eat. "How could you talk to a apprentice like that?" he snarled. "After this ceremony, you two are on elder duty for the rest of the day."

Darktail flattened his ears, and Frogstone grumbled something. Redstar watched from his perch, not moving. "Splashpaw, come forward," he yowled when the cats had taken their seats and were not speaking.

Splashpaw jumped onto the rock, the blood pounding in her ears.

"Spirits of StarClan, you know every cat by name. I ask you now to take away the name from the cat you see before you, for it no longer stands for what she is. By my authority as Clan leader, and with the approval of our warrior ancestors, I give this cat a new name. From this moment on she will be known as Scarpaw, for the scar she wields from battle."

Redstar touched his nose to Scarpaw's shoulder, and Scarpaw reluctantly licked his chin. "Scarpaw! Scarpaw!" Brownpaw, Lightclaw, Cloudeyes, and Pebblepaw chanted. The Clan joined in, and Scarpaw looked at her mother, who's eyes were narrowed.

Then she lifted her chin and yowled, "Scarpaw! Scarpaw!"

_x x x_


	3. Chapter 3: Teased

_x x x_

Scarpaw lay in the medicine den, pawing at a clump of moss. Featherfur had insisted that she stay in the medicine den just for another few moon, since her eye was still wounded. The only good thing that came out of it was that cats brought her prey, and that she had Goldpaw to talk to while he sorted herbs.

"Why did you want to become a medicine cat?" Scarpaw asked him one day. Goldpaw looked up at her, his green eyes round and honest.

"Because my mother died from battle," he told her. "And I hated that I couldn't do anything to help her while she lay in the medicine den, bleeding to death."

Scarpaw muttered something. "Yeah..." She looked up, smiling a little. "I bet she was brave." Goldpaw lifted his chin. "She was! But when I was a kit, every cat teased me because I didn't like to play. And I was bad at hunting and fighting."

The golden tom sighed and lowered his head. "Well, you're good at sorting herbs," she said. "Only you and Featherfur are good at that." Goldpaw grinned as she spoke. "Yeah, I guess," he mumbled, licking at his chest fur.

* * *

_x x x_

* * *

Scarpaw watched as Brownpaw limped into the medicine den. "Are you alright?" she asked, sitting up. Brownpaw gritted his teeth and collapsed. Scrathches covered his pelt, and a bad bite wound was on his tail and ears.

"Redstar tried to take back Sunningrocks," he growled. "We lost." Scarpaw watched as Goldpaw rubbed herbs all over Brownpaw, his brow furrowed with concentration.

"You'll have to stay in camp a few days," he said. Brownpaw didn't argue. He turned and left, limping.

"I wish Redstar didn't always want Sunningrocks," Scarpaw said. "It's just a big pile of rocks." Goldpaw said nothing as he tried to clean herb juice off his paws.

* * *

_x x x_

* * *

Featherfur walked into the medicine den, carrying herbs. Goldpaw darted past and stopped right in front of Scarpaw's nest.

"How are you feeling?" he demanded. Scarpaw twitched once, then yawned. "I was just dreaming about catching a giant fish," she comaplained. "And now I'm hungry."

Goldpaw darted past Featherfur again, causing the older cat to yelp and nearly drop the herbs she carried.

Goldpaw ran back, carrying a trout. "Here!" he sad, dropping it. Featherfur stomped inside, her eyes narrowed. "Great StarClan, Goldpaw!" she complained. "You're like a fish, darting back and forth for Scarpaw."

Goldpaw said nothing again, just trying to get fish scent off his fur.

* * *

_x x x_

* * *

It finally became the day that Scarpaw was allowed to leave the medicine den. Light streamed into her eyes, and she squinted.

She had always excercised her left eye, opening it, and closing it.

Open

Close

Open

Close

Repeat

But she would mostly miss Goldpaw. She had grown close to him; he was the only cat who understood her. The only cat who didn't see the awful scar on her face.

"Hey, Scarpaw!" She turned her head to see Fogcloud and Darktail stalking towards her, a sneer on their faces. Her heart fell into her belly as she realized what was in Frogstone's mouth: a squirrel, by the looks of it.

A long scratch was on its left eye, and it ran all the way down to its lip. Frogstone dropped it by her paws, and, sneering, he glanced at Darktail as if asking permission to speak. Darktail gave a tiny nod.

"Looks, Scarpaw! I found your _real _littermate," he jeered. Scarpaw couldn't control herself. She launched herself at Frogstone and dug her teeth into his left ear, shaking her head about, determined to make the tom feel pain.

He yowled and shrieked and bucked, trying to throw off the tiny apprentice, but Scarpaw clung on like a burr. "Get her off!" he screeched. "Get her _off_!" But his Clanmates only watched.

"That's w't he d'serves," Crookedtooth muttered to Larksong, who grunted agreement. "T' yo'ng cats these days a'ways act like th're all sm'rt an' st'ff."

No cat really understod what Crookedtooth was saying, since his crooked teeth caused him trouble speaking. Only Larksong understood what the elder was saying.

Elders have that special communcation, even though their old and frail.

"Stop!" Lightclaw yowled, and the crowd parted. He marched towards Scarpaw and pulled her off of Frogstone's ear. The dark grey tom crouched on the ground, his left ear torn and blood dripping down and staining his fur.

"You know better then that," he scolded. "Frogstone may be a little annoying, but you shouldn't attack him."  
"But it's not fair!" Scarpaw complained. "He treats me like a monster!" Lightclaw flicked his tail over her shoulder, but Scarpaw shied away. "Calm down," he said.

"No!" she yowled. "Leave me alone! Don't ever come near me! It's your fault! Your fault I'm like this!" Then she turned and ran to the medicine den.

"Hey, Scar-" Goldpaw began, but then he saw the look of anger on her face, and closed his mouth. Scarpaw collapsed in a heap on her nest, sobbing quietly. Goldpaw walked over and lay down beside her, wrapping his tail around her, murmuring comfort.

* * *

_x x x_

* * *

The stars danced above, and the half moon shone above, casting light on the forest. Scarpaw trotted alongside the river, which was calm. She could see the silver outline of fish as they swam through, the moon causing their scales to shine brightly.

Then she paused as she caught sight of her reflection. She braced herself as she prepared to see her ugliness, but instead she saw her face... it was whole! There was no scar, no more stares!

She was Splashpaw! She was Splashpaw again! Scarpaw pranced around, yowling happily. But suddenly she tripped and fell into the river. She squirmed around, and then a wave shoved her and her eye was scraped against the rock.

The ground shifted and she was back on the shore. Her left eye throbbed as she peered into the river. The scar was back. Cruel laughing filled her ears and she looked up to see cats pointing at her with their tails, jaws wide and laughing loudly.

Her eye widened as she saw Pebblepaw. Brownpaw. Lightclaw. Dappleheart. Goldpaw...

"No!" she screeched. "_No_! This can't be happening!" Scarpaw fell to the ground thrashing about. She hated herself. Oh, how much she hated herself. She covered her face with her paws and sobs racked her body.

"I'm still a ugly cat," she whispered. "And I always will be."

* * *

_x x x_

* * *

Goldpaw was shaking Scarpaw awake. She had been thrashing around and yowling "No!" and he had grown concerned. He had abandoned the herbs he had been sorting and tried to wake her.

"Scarpaw, get up!" Her eye flashed open, and it darted around. "Oh, it's you," she murmured. She got up and shook out her pelt. "I just had a bad dream." Goldpaw narrowed her eyes as she left the den.

Something wasn't right.

* * *

_x x x_

* * *

Scarpaw ate a tiny grey fish outside of the medicine cat den. Featherfur had told her that she was allowed to. She waited for Goldpaw to finish his duties so that she could show him how to fish.

He had been complaining about it for moons, and now she would finally get him to shut up. She ignored the fact that cats still gave her stares, but others had just accepted who she was. But sometimes cats would make fun of her, and it still made her upset.

But Goldpaw was always there. He would make her feel happy. He would make her forget about the scar.

Pebblepaw trotted over, her eyes bright. "Hi, Scarpaw!" she chirped. Then she started looking around. Scarpaw tilted her head. "Who are you looking for?" Pebblepaw smirked. "You-know-who," she replied, smirking. Scarpaw lowered her head.

Word was getting around that Scarpaw was padding after Goldpaw. "I do _not _like Goldpaw!" she hissed. "We're just friends." But her sister knew her, and she could tell that she was lying. "Yes," Pebblepaw said. "Friends."

Scarpaw smirked. "I see you staring at Darktail," she teased. Pebblepaw scoffed. "Him? What does he have?" Her eyes glazed over. "Beautiful yellow eyes? Muscles? Long legs... strong paws..."

Scarpaw snorted. "Go moon over Darktail somewhere else!" she growled, shoving her sister away. Pebblepaw trotted away, her tail high.

* * *

_x x x_

* * *

Scarpaw waited by the barrier behind Cloudeyes, her mentor. This would be her first Gathering! Redstar had decided to let her go, since she was _always _stuck in camp. Goldpaw had stayed behind. He had wrenched his shoulder, falling out of a tree. StarClan knows what he was doing up there.

"You'll tell me everything?" Brownpaw demanded. Darktail had caught him sneaking fire ants into Pebblepaw's nest, and he had to stay behind. Scarpaw could hardly believe that the annoying black tom was actually a good mentor.

"Of course," Scarpaw said. Pebblepaw snorted. "Fat chance." Redstar yowled, and Scarpaw knew it was time to go. "Bye, Brownpaw!" Scarpaw called over her shoulder. Brownpaw waved his tail goodbye, his blue eyes glittering with envy.

Scarpaw couldn't believe it. Her first Gathering!

* * *

_x x x_

* * *

**Okay, guys. I need some warrior names for Scarpaw, Pebblepaw, and Brownpaw. ^^ Pebble and Brown will become warriors in a few moons, but Scarpaw will probably have to wait a looooooooooooooong time. :3 Review please!**


End file.
